Is the distortion of our reality really an escape? Or is it simply easier to bare? - Austin Grey
23rd Non-UnBirthday!
This day is normally a weird one for me. I have always had weird feelings about it.
The only people who ever consistently care about this day are my parents (bless their hearts). I’m not surprised, seeing as how they went through 6 miscarriages before the last of their love for one another was born.
Two decades changed me, and August 6th wasn’t that exciting anymore. I used to give excuses as to why it never really mattered to me. Deep down inside I started thinking that no one cared about it, so why should I?
I am surprised and excited to say that I am actually excited about today! I am excited about the people in my life and the joy I have found! I will celebrate. I will enjoy the passing of a year that almost wasn’t and every year after.
Big things happened this year! I’ve learned so many things and had so many experiences. In the spirit of me, I will state the ones that have had the biggest impressions on the reflections of who I am.
23. The cake is a lie, but when it really matters it is still worth it.
22. I realized I will never be a cabbage or a king, and I am really grateful!
21. I finally mastered my Patronus, and it looks like a Phoenix.
20. The Rabbit Hole is actually lined with helping hands, as long as you know which way you want to go.
19. I have accepted the Jokers place in the labyrinth.
18. The Cheshire cat cannot choose the side of good or evil, and the kitty really is just talking nonsense sometimes.
17. I accept that no one blames me for walking away, due to to much rejection with no love injection.
16. Tweedledee and Tweedledum are highly over looked. They actually have a lot of amazing things to say!
15. I learned the time has come to speak of many things.
14. Not all who wander are lost, but I’ve learned to not mistake them with the ones who are.
13. I must not tell lies.
12. Two is important to understand.
11. I believe in Harvey Dent.
10. I tamed the Bandersnatch.
9. I learned a lot of things from the flowers in wonderland, and have decided their purpose is important.
8. I discovered the Caterpillar is a big fan of Kurt Cobain.
7. I fought my way to the castle beyond the Goblin City, and took back the child that was stolen from me.
6. I found out the Madhatter actually likes coffee way more than tea!
5. I figured out that Harley Quinn and Hello Kitty have a lot in common, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
4.I told Jareth he has no power over me.
3. I will always have a goblin to turn to, should I need them.
2. I found my pen.
1. I slayed the JabberWocky.
There is obviously more to this list than meets the eye, and it’s an anthem for a year of so many roads traveled. Twenty three is going to be one of great possibilities, and I can hardly wait to enjoy whatever else may come my way! Thank you to all who have made this one special. Here is to hoping for the future and great things to come!
Beautiful Thoughts
The only thing more beautiful to me than a blank page, is one filled with strong thoughts.
“Courage holds any mask. Surprisingly, fear is often one of them” - Austin Grey
Where would we be without creativity and friendship? - Austin Grey
Joy returns to destroy the monsters. In a quite force of power. - Austin Grey
The Voice of my Hope
There is always beauty, even if I don’t always understand it or see it. Today is not the someday I hope for. I am still grateful for what this day is and what I can make of it.
If I can look at the world in a new way, than I believe it is time to look at the concept of my happiness from the same perspective. Hope is never perfect. I will cling to the idea until my hands ache, and continue when I can’t hang on any longer.
It’s easy to get caught up in the labyrinth. To only pay attention to the walls and endless corridors is so easy. It is only when I stop and look around I see the flowers and the butterflies. The butterflies are the most beautiful, because they rise above the chaos and remind me that there is still light in this confusing place. They sky has not forgotten me. There is nothing more surreal and beautiful than staring at it.
I often forget to mention the ghost I encounter. I tend to only think of the bad ones that are always trying to point me in the wrong direction. There are also good ones, and good people to remind me that it maybe ok to never get out.
I may never get out, but I am confident that I can still have joy even when things don’t make sense. I used to have a motto “smile like you mean it, even if you don’t.” I would change that today to “Smile like you mean it, because one day you will.”
If you never explore the limits of yourself, you may never know who you really are.
Famed photographer, Annie Leibovitz, traveled down the rabbit hole and documented the story of Alice, Natalia Vodianova, in this 2003 December issue of Vogue US.
“Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it” - Lewis Carroll
Rochas…
“Beauty is in the depths of our sanity” - Austin Grey
The only cost to travel in your imagination is the price of sanity. - Austin Grey
Changing Lies
It is hard to live a life that is more than a lie, when you see how the world is wrong. Especially when you feel like you can’t change it.
Living in the Gray
Truth is not black and white….it is gray.
There has been a lot of talk about what is truth and what is right. Everyone is talking about a trial, but this question comes up more and more as each generation passes. I have come to realize that Truth and life are not so simple as day and night.It falls into a twilight period. Some kind of dusk and dawn moment that we don’t fully understand how it makes us feel.
The Pythagorean math symbol for two also is a symbol of duality, complexity, and the battle between good and evil. I also believe it to be a vision of justice.
Everything is not as simple and we force the world to be this way, hence all of the pointless arguing and all of the needless debate of who is right. Unfortunately we do not like how the gray outcome makes us feel, thus I fear it will never be fully accepted. I myself have a hard time digesting life in the gray, but it makes sense when you really think about it.
Remember our friend the Joker
At least Chaos is fair!
Who ever said truth had to make us feel good, or that it always had to meet our black and white standards of being fair? If anything is wrong it is the simplicity of what we try to make life. Black and white fall into formulas that have loop holes and can be manipulated. It’s not consistent for everyone. The black and white may bring order and justice, but grey is a constant mystery.
The judgements in gray are based more on intentions and adequate actions. It doesn’t allow excuses to be made, but understands what is behind the superficial. The results of gray thinking often make me feel like I’m letting people off too easy. I guess that is what we could say about man kind and God. He really lets us off too easy with how we live all day long. Yet, it is His goodness that holds us accountable in a suitable manner and turns dusk into dawn so that we may have a constant example of what it means to live in the Gray.
Perfectionism, It Just got Real.
I often wonder if my failures are in my head or if there is true merit to my guilt.
I could probably lighten up on myself if everyone around me would do the same. I mean really people just want you to be perfect, and they have the nerve to be disgusted when your not.
Give me a freakin break people, and while your at it give yourself one too!
It gets on my nerves how freaking critical people can be even when you’re so forgiving of them. I don’t judge your house, nit pick at your car, or try and condemn your actions. Don’t try and start that mess with me.
I wish I could tell these people what I really think about them and their stupid opinions.
I can understand you hate yourself, and the choices you have made. I know you want everything to be perfect and it’s not so you hate yourself. I do not want to live in guilt and destroy myself every chance I can like you! So please, please, do not put your perceptions and goals on my life.
What goes around just doesn’t seem to come around my friends. It is a sad and unfortunate truth, but once you don’t expect good things to happen to you it’s like the world isn’t such a disappointment anymore.
It also starts making you think about why you do half of the things you do. I think this little epiphany has made me into a person who does things a lot more genuinely. People expect so much more out of others than they do themselves. It’s hypocritical and rude!It’s like somewhere along the way people have decided that there are impossible standards that we have forced ourselves to live up to. It’s just not going to happen so we complain the whole way through the torture, and then have the audacity to expect someone else to do better.
I know I go on this rant really often lately, but I am tired of it. I really am and it drives me to avoid all of that unnecessary negativity. It’s just not healthy in relationships or in people’s everyday mentality.
There is nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself or for people who we care about. However, there is a line. A line that humanity is starting to cross and blur into the gray with every new generation.
I hope we learn from our mistakes that we can reach for our full potential, but be content in the moment that everything is still ok.
Obsessions
Forget the world and it’s obsessions. It never did me any good, so take it world as a lesson learned.
I swear everyday I have to hear everyone’s rant, laments, and self destruction about how bad or good something is for us.
Shut up and keep your opinions to yourself!
I wish I could yell that in every person’s face who is a slave to their obsessions. People, we have gotten to the point of being just plain annoying.
The fallacies of man are made of good intentions, but they are getting in the way of what is important. It sickens me to watch people pat themselves on their back because they are torturing themselves. I refuse to aide in this sick disease that others are praising themselves for.
We are a culture of the obsessed and it destroys our connections with each other let alone our self-image. We are obsessed with being to thin, to fat, to healthy, and to carefree. I understand that it is to to much to hope that we will put down the mega phones and get off of our lifestyle soap boxes. I am just so tired of hearing that everything around is bad for me and I should avoid it like the plague.I mean seriously everything is not that bad and not that great people.
Our obsessions have gone further than just our diets, as if that wasn’t bad enough. Now it’s our everyday routines we are starting to attack.
I mean come on.
Sitting, Really people? Sitting!
That is our new stance? We shouldn’t sit at work all day because it’s bad for your health?
The problem is not sitting. The problem is not McDonalds. The problem is not what some lab test proves and disproves to shorten your life span. The real problem is the fear our obsessions are based in. I believe everyone is scared of their mortality, and we are scared of not being accepted.People don’t understand the point of everything is to have a balance. Life wasn’t meant to fit into a formula of such extremities.
I am someone who has let her obsessions destroy everything I’ve worked for, and parts of myself will never be the same. Learn your lessons now folks, before all you have to look back on are rituals to an obsession that breaks the most enjoyable parts, and the simplest parts, life is made of.
