I’ve Got Something.

reneeyohe:

I have been (we all are, each of us, all the time) fighting for my life. There’s that broken record repeating in the background; not the nice old crackle that this culture romanticizes, not the song playing over and over that makes you smile, but the irksome repetitive song that I have been trying to get out of my head… this song should wait to be an appropriate dirge when I have gone, not the eerie doomsday soundtrack following my every move. I don’t want it.

There are other things spinning, other things falling down and scratching and tugging at my skirt demanding my gaze… But this isn’t a farewell, this isn’t a goodbye! These are the moments that define what I believe is the BEGINNING of my story. My real story, the one that really really matters, the one that is for me. This is where my voice is being built. I am not being torn to pieces by the wolves or whisked away, I am being built up. I am gathering myself, I am stretching and growing. My story starts here. My story is laying itself in concrete below me, and unfurling itself in front of me, the reigns in my hands; capable, nervous, sweaty and determined and surprised by their own strength and ability.

There is a new song emerging, tables turning, new direction and focus. Is this cryptic? I’m sure. I like it, I thrive in the vague, and the symbolic, and metaphorical grays… Much is changing, much is to come. I’ve got something for you… but really, honestly, I’ve got something for ME. (This is an elaborate “Stay tuned.”)