In Society we can feel so alone. There is a place we can go to that makes us feel safe. For most of us it is not physical, but can feel so real we don't want to leave it.

We find ourselves getting lost in the walls we have built for our safety. The greatest moments (and normally the scariest) are when we can let someone into our sanctuaries.

This is a view of my inner walls. Take a look through my stained glass past the masquerade at midnight.

Whether you like what you find isn't important. These are the inside of my walls. I just pray they move you to build your own Stained Glass Windows inside your own sanctuaries. Follow fluerdelis on Twitter

Into the Woods

Hollywood always seems to make things more than what they are. People seem more interesting, places become more desirable, and age becomes a myth. We walk out on movies and write Rotten Tomato reviews swearing that real people are less predictable in real life. We couldn’t possibly be that boring or that dense.

I would beg to differ.

It’s hard to say that we aren’t as real as bad songs and poor character development. There are real life versions of Bella Swan just like there are real life Batman’s and Jokers. Lately I’m starting to get a little weary that I am expecting to much from many of the characters in my life. It hurts to think that I will always feel this different, especially since I can’t quite put my finger on why.

There is one thing that Hollywood does get right. It’s the feeling of the woods. There’s something about a scene filled with mossy trees and sunlight. I feel like my lungs can breathe in the dewy smell of Earth. I feel at home.

Something about the tranquility of the woods is pulling at the depths of me. The strive for community in this disconnect is my normal remedy, but huge screaming parts of me want to be left alone in this scene. There’s only one to share it with, and that is perhaps the biggest question of them all. There is something to find in the woods. There are big pieces of my Serenity/Sanity buried beneath the dirt. 

It’s time to dig it out.

The urgency is hitting me. My window is slowly closing for me to linger among redwoods. I can slowly feel time stealing the oaks that are begging for me to sit on them and write what needs to be written. My sleep is pleading for the escape. It won’t bring peace until I do.

So I will go into the woods, and pray to make it home before the darkness.

brinkmag:

HEAVY AND LIGHT 2012

Our hearts are heavy and light.

We laugh and scream and sing.

 Those were the original words written by the founder of local, non-profit To Write Love on Her Arms, Jamie Tworkowski. In 2007, the organization printed shirts with the phrase to help support the family and funeral expenses of Hawthorne Heights’ late guitarist Casey Calvert. TWLOHA shortened the phrase to HEAVY AND LIGHT and used it as the title of their first night of hope and conversation.

BRINK was excited to head out to House of Blues - Orlando to share in the hopeful evening. The show was filled with well-known names like Chris Carrabba from Dashboard Concessional and rising stars like Noah Gundersen and Mariah McManus. The lineup also featured musical legends William Fitzsimmons, David Bazan of Pedro the Lion and spoken work poet Anis Mojgani.

Proceeds for the show will further TWLOHA’S mission to directly aid in the recovery of those struggling with depression, addiction, self injury, and other issues that are often overlooked. People from all over the country flew in and drove to attend the anticipated night of music and strong words. One in particular was our favorite One Tree Hill starlit Sophia Bush! Ms. Bush is a huge supporter and friend of TWLOHA. She said a few words encouraging the ideals TWLOHA stands for and introduced the only female artist of the night – Mariah McManus.

That wasn’t the only surprise in store for those in attendance.

If you think back to last spring, you may have stumbled into a few production sets around town. Those were for the movie RENEE. It’s a highly anticipated independent film about Tworkowski’s friend Renee Yohe, who initially inspired the beginnings of TWLOHA. Yohe took a moment that night to show an exclusive clip of the movie, which is set to release sometime this year.

The evening ended with headliner Chris Carrabba’s performance and the collaborative encore of the entire musical lineup. The music may have stopped, but Tworkowski assured the audience that the conversations and hope don’t have to. He ended the night with a reminder of the true meaning for HEAVY AND LIGHT.

“It’s our belief that everyone is living a story. We’re not trying to impress you with a story that they made a movie about, a story that started this organization, or even the stories of the folks that have stood here on this stage. We do this because of the folks that come out. There are parts of that story that we wish we could forget or change. Than we have the parts in our story that make us come alive. Your story is priceless and sacred. It deserves, or maybe even requires, other characters. We were not meant to do this life alone. It’s something we have to fight for and choose. We believe that the fight is worth it.”

If you weren’t able to attend this year’s HEAVY AND LIGHT, you still have a chance! Thanks to a grant from the American Giving Awards, TWLOHA is able to take their semi-annual show to other cities across the country. Check out TWLOHA.com for upcoming dates and events. You can also check out the RENEE Facebook Page for more updates about RENEE. 

 -Melody Austin

-Photos via Ryan Gamma (TWLOHA)

Tale as old as time…. (Taken with instagram)

Tale as old as time…. (Taken with instagram)

The cake is a lie. #portal (Taken with instagram)

The cake is a lie. #portal (Taken with instagram)

Blocked the blog today in protest to #sopa & #Pipa.

Blocked the blog today in protest to #sopa & #Pipa.

(Source: david, via thresca)

Let the fun begin! Looks like I will be posting a lot more often!!

Let the fun begin! Looks like I will be posting a lot more often!!

A Year of the Sea

The Labyrinth is surrounded by a beach of white sand and clear water. The wind by the shores of a break through follow my days here. It’s a nostalgia that hasn’t left me since that April Sunrise. There are hints of it everywhere, until it blows through my fingers and escapes me.

I’m always trying to work towards something, and feel like I have to do things to make them better. To be the best I’ve conditioned myself to believe that I have to work all the time. There are parts of myself I will always work on. I will always fight the good fight to survive.

By the sea, I didn’t have to work. I was just myself. It was one of the best experiences I had all year and I didn’t have to do a thing to make it happen.

Maybe the secret to life and patience are in little moments that we feel what is outside of our walls. We just are who we were created to be. To enjoy what is in front of us, and let the wind blow the chaos away for only a second.

In 2012 I simply wish to acknowledge the experiences by the sea.

The sea of community that surrounds me.

The sea of mysteries I speak softly to myself in moments of wonder.

The sea of truth.

The sea of beauty I am apart of everyday.

twloha: Today is the last day to vote for TWLOHA to win $1,000,000. Please help by voting here and spreading the word to everyone you know. Let’s win this together.

twloha:

Today is the last day to vote for TWLOHA to win $1,000,000. Please help by voting here and spreading the word to everyone you know. Let’s win this together.

brinkmag: Amy LaVere at The Social, Orlando, Florida Our friends at The Social in Downtown Orlando are happy to welcome Amy LaVere to the stage December 8th. Here is a coffee break moment to get to know more about this rising independent music artist. Amy LaVere’s newest album Stranger Me is a melodic concoction of Blues, a hint of folk, and lyrics of a broken heart. While Stranger Me may intrigue you from start to finish, the stories behind the heartache album of the year are just as interesting as the woman singing them. Amy LaVere has been making music since 2005, while maintaining an acting career. (You may recognize her from “Walk the Line” and “Hustle and Flo.) The year 2009 was blow after blow at Amy’s music endeavors when her producer Jim Dickinson died followed by two of her bandmates leaving (one of which was her longtime boyfriend).  Despite everything, she used the creative process to make an album that critics are raving about for its raw honesty and portrayal of human emotion.   “The creative process stirs things up, and often makes things worse at first. I suppose by looking at things real hard you can sort them out clearer.”  Even though Amy is busy touring and promoting Stranger Me, she still manages to continue to act and collaborate with other artist, like Luther Dickinson, Shannon McNally, Valerie June and Sharde Thomas. Check out Amy’s Web page for a few songs you can look forward to at The Social on Dec. 8th! Make sure you keep a look out on BRINK’s Facebook for free tickets to the show! - Melody Austin

brinkmag:

Amy LaVere at The Social, Orlando, Florida

Our friends at The Social in Downtown Orlando are happy to welcome Amy LaVere to the stage December 8th. Here is a coffee break moment to get to know more about this rising independent music artist.

Amy LaVere’s newest album Stranger Me is a melodic concoction of Blues, a hint of folk, and lyrics of a broken heart. While Stranger Me may intrigue you from start to finish, the stories behind the heartache album of the year are just as interesting as the woman singing them.

Amy LaVere has been making music since 2005, while maintaining an acting career. (You may recognize her from “Walk the Line” and “Hustle and Flo.) The year 2009 was blow after blow at Amy’s music endeavors when her producer Jim Dickinson died followed by two of her bandmates leaving (one of which was her longtime boyfriend).  Despite everything, she used the creative process to make an album that critics are raving about for its raw honesty and portrayal of human emotion.  

“The creative process stirs things up, and often makes things worse at first. I suppose by looking at things real hard you can sort them out clearer.” 

Even though Amy is busy touring and promoting Stranger Me, she still manages to continue to act and collaborate with other artist, like Luther Dickinson, Shannon McNally, Valerie June and Sharde Thomas.

Check out Amy’s Web page for a few songs you can look forward to at The Social on Dec. 8th! Make sure you keep a look out on BRINK’s Facebook for free tickets to the show!

- Melody Austin

(via etiquetteforalady)

Confessions of an Athlete

Here is a very old blog off of my myspace from 2007. So much fueled my writing then. It’s something I hope to never loose.

Speed

Speed is a very interesting thing. For some it’s natural, but for me it’s not. I worked for it until it became a part of me. I eventually learned that there are two ways people run.

1. Some run towards the finish line.
2. Others, like me, run away and crash into it.

It’s why I can’t stnad running. No matter how hard I runaway from the begining I still end up where I started in the end.

Speed just happens now…
It’s that part of me that I can’t hold back.It’s that part of me that just flows. It’s the thing I crave for in that moment. I don’t have to think about it. There’s nothing for me to focus on. I just do it. I just let it flow….
No encouragment is needed.
No critisism can touch it.
No words can effect it.
Time and words don’t play a role in my desire for speed.
It just flows…
That’s the one thing I love about running.
It’s just me, speed, and that desire.

I run without looking back.
I always look forward. I look forward at where I started, which is where I must finish. It’s my only competition, and it catches me every single time…
The wall of reality hits me hard when I collide with that line, and there’s no more speed. There’s just me.

I hate the end just as much as I hate the begining. It means I have to stop running away. The end means I have to do it again, either now or later. Sooner or later I runaway again, with just me, speed, and that desire. I have to runaway again with all the scorn I have for it. I runaway again and pray that moment comes when I forget what I’m doing. I forget that I’m running away from that inevitable moment when the begining and the end collide, and I’m left alone with silence.

People have always tried to understand my speed. They always try and catch me. Maybe someday someone will catch me, and maybe someday I’ll stop running away. It hasn’t happened yet. It’ll be intresting to find out what will happen if they ever do occur. One thing I am sure is that I will always desire that moment of speed. The moment of forgetfullness. Speed will always just flow…..

Here we go again to run another race. If you could catch me I may forget to runaway. We can run in stride together, perhaps? But I need you to catch me first…

I dare you…catch me….

Catch me if you can….

brinkmag: Movie Review: Being Elmo: The Journey of a Puppeteer Being Elmo is a light-hearted documentary following Kevin Clash, the man behind everyone’s favorite red monster Elmo. Few can remember the early versions of Elmo. He was a deep-throated caveman who rarely made an appearance. Elmo went through multiple puppeteers before literally being tossed into Clash’s lap. Clash placed the puppet on his hand and spoke in a falsetto voice — “Hello, this is Elmo.” And the rest is history. Being Elmo documents the beautiful moments and hard struggles Clash experienced throughout his teenage years and career. He started as a talented young puppeteer and is now the Senior Puppet Coordinator and Senior Creative Consultant of his favorite childhood show: Sesame Street. The 5-year-old in every member of the audience comes out when seeing footage of Clash working as some of America’s favorite characters from Sesame Street: The Labyrinth, Captain Kangaroo and many more shows and movies. Clash speaks humbly about meeting Master Puppeteer Kermit Love and working with legendary creatives Jim Henson and Frank Oz. He also lets viewers into his personal life lessons, inspirations and struggles. “I knew that Elmo should represent love,” Clash said in the film. Throughout the documentary you can see how the love and encouragement that surrounds Clash feeds into his work and his efforts to inspire others. After learning more about Kevin Clash in Being Elmo, you understand America’s favorite little red monster just a little more. Being Elmo starts playing at the Enzian Theatre on Dec. 16. Make sure to check out the documentary’s website for other showtimes and dates. - Melody Austin

brinkmag:

Movie Review: Being Elmo: The Journey of a Puppeteer

Being Elmo is a light-hearted documentary following Kevin Clash, the man behind everyone’s favorite red monster Elmo.

Few can remember the early versions of Elmo. He was a deep-throated caveman who rarely made an appearance. Elmo went through multiple puppeteers before literally being tossed into Clash’s lap. Clash placed the puppet on his hand and spoke in a falsetto voice — “Hello, this is Elmo.” And the rest is history.

Being Elmo documents the beautiful moments and hard struggles Clash experienced throughout his teenage years and career. He started as a talented young puppeteer and is now the Senior Puppet Coordinator and Senior Creative Consultant of his favorite childhood show: Sesame Street. The 5-year-old in every member of the audience comes out when seeing footage of Clash working as some of America’s favorite characters from Sesame Street: The Labyrinth, Captain Kangaroo and many more shows and movies.

Clash speaks humbly about meeting Master Puppeteer Kermit Love and working with legendary creatives Jim Henson and Frank Oz. He also lets viewers into his personal life lessons, inspirations and struggles.

“I knew that Elmo should represent love,” Clash said in the film.

Throughout the documentary you can see how the love and encouragement that surrounds Clash feeds into his work and his efforts to inspire others. After learning more about Kevin Clash in Being Elmo, you understand America’s favorite little red monster just a little more.

Being Elmo starts playing at the Enzian Theatre on Dec. 16. Make sure to check out the documentary’s website for other showtimes and dates.

- Melody Austin

8 Seconds to Improve Mental Illness

This is the time of the year everyone wants your money to make a difference in the world. Take a moment and do something that won’t cost a dollar but can help so many people. Please vote and spread the message of To Write Love On Her Arms.

Here is the link for more information. http://www.twloha.com/blog/8-days-8-votes-1

We will be the hopeful.

Instinct

As Humans, we are instinctive creatures.At our core, there are two essential elements-to love and to live.

Our cultural focus is so greatly placed on love, particularly with romance, that we forget to fully live our lives. Especially since the average person doesn’t really get what it means to love. If we understood the full depths of “I love you”, then a lot of things would be right in the world. Divorce wouldn’t be so high, and we would not feel the pressure of defining ourselves by our relationship status.

Yet, we bow to the ideals created in fairy tales and dreams.

Why can’t we embrace the other types of love in our life? The joys of hard work….the beauty of friendships…the assembly of words on a page….so many other things are lost to the White Knight of Happily Ever After.

Look at Romeo and Juliet. They could not live without love, so they did not live at all. Romantic, right? Wrong. They are dead. They wasted the greatest gift in the world and went against the essence of their humanity.

Don’t take me for a Prince-Slayer. I believe it is important to believe in romance and true love. The true love of commitment, sincerity, and vulnerability, that has you staring aimlessly into each others eyes when you are old and grey. Despite the effects of emotional porn we consume everyday, it is a terrible site of a creature who has given up totally on love. A difficult road to stray from. It’s a road I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to travel.

I simply fear so many are missing out on experiencing all of the beautiful things that are meant for us. Our individual experiences can bring lives together in so many ways. The most beautiful can be romance. Feeding into our instinct to live can place our lives in the position it was meant to be. It can even place our hearts to unexpectedly find the love only a significant other can give.

You’ll will never know until you embrace the driving element of human nature. It doesn’t matter what your relational status is. Go live. We we’re all meant to live for more than mere existence.  

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.

(via etiquetteforalady)

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